The physical aspects of metastatic triple-negative breast cancer (mTNBC) treatment can exhaust you. Paying attention to your mental and emotional health can make the       difference between just surviving your treatment and thriving.  

Being around other women who are going through, or have gone through, mTNBC treatment can be a source of healing. But don’t just join any breast cancer support group. It may take a few to find the right fit. It may help to look for a group of women who can see and hear you from a cultural perspective. If you’re Black or Hispanic, try the African American Breast Cancer Alliance or ALAS-WINGS, the Latina Association for Breast Cancer. 

Arm yourself with answers: mTNBC treatment is scarier when you don’t know what to expect. Ask your medical team questions, and make sure they respond respectfully in ways that make sense to you. Don’t be afraid to ask as many questions as you need to understand what’s happening. Whenever possible, meet your doctors in person and prepare a list of questions about tests, treatments, medications, side effects, and next steps. 

Be smart about scheduling around treatments, surgery, or something that might be stressful, like a follow-up mammogram or appointment. Try not to take on anything else that will drain your energy. And be extra good to yourself before and after those events.

There will be days when you feel like talking about your mTNBC and days when you don’t. What you share, when you share it, and who you share it with are 100% up to you. It’s always an option to say, “Thanks for asking, but I don’t feel like talking about it right now. If that changes, I’ll let you know.” It’s also OK to say you don’t want to hear stories about other people who have cancer. 

mTNBC treatment can leave you with less energy than usual. Even if it’s hard to ask for help, let people pitch in when you need it. Say “Yes” when friends offer to make meals, pick up groceries, clean your house, carpool your kids, or run errands. It helps to be specific about what you need. If you live far from friends and family, ask your doctor about local community- religious- or cancer-based groups that can help you. 

Because you have breast cancer, your risk for depression is higher. It’s normal to feel sad. But if that sadness affects your daily life, makes it hard to get out of bed, creates distance between you and the people you love, or changes your eating and sleeping patterns, talk to your doctor. Ask them to recommend a therapist or medication – or both – that might be helpful. 

Yes, it’s possible to have mTNBC and feel grateful at the same time. All the time? Probably not. Some of the time? Absolutely. There are plenty of reasons to have hope, and they all benefit your mind and body. It could be as simple as gratitude for the sunshine, a good friend, or a parking spot close to the door. To keep the positive vibes close, surround yourself with people who support you. 

If anxiety plays on a constant loop in your head, talk back with some self-care. Remember that fear lives in the future; try to stay as present as you can. Go for a walk; do some gentle exercise or stretching; journal, sketch, or paint; read a book; meditate with a video or an app; watch a movie; take yourself out for dinner; or do something silly and spur-of-the-moment. 

You’re not in this alone, and neither is anyone else. Once you’re on the other side of treatment, become an advocate and share your unique perspective. You can contact local or national cancer organizations and ask how you can volunteer to talk with newly diagnosed women. Or you could start a blog or social media feed to share your story. 

Many women say they feel like their lives are out of control during mTNBC treatment. It changes your schedule, priorities, and the basic rhythms of your life. Instead of focusing on what’s out of control, put your energy into everything you can control: Who you are, how you choose to act, the plans you make, and the people in your world.