What Is Main Character Syndrome?
Main character syndrome is the perception that your life is a story or a movie where you’re the central character. A term that was born on social media, it’s not a true syndrome or mental disorder. But it may overlap a bit with a handful of mental health conditions. Main character syndrome is also referred to as main character energy.
When you see yourself as the star or protagonist, you may behave as if you always have an audience. Of course, most everyone acts a bit differently when they know – or believe – someone is watching. But that behavior is magnified when you have main character syndrome. It’s not who you really are, it’s the image you want to create for others.
This could mean that you painstakingly choose the perfect outfit just to grab a carton of milk from the grocery store. Or you speak loudly in public because you think others want to hear what you’re saying.
You might undervalue everyone around you, too. That’s because you consider these people secondary characters at best. This could mean you intentionally draw attention to yourself, even in situations that clearly aren’t about you, such as someone’s wedding. Or you never fail to bring the conversation back to your issues when a friend shares their problems with you.
If the other people in your life aren’t secondary characters, you may see them as villains. Essentially, people either rally around or work against you.
Main Character Syndrome Causes
Social media seems to be the primary breeding ground for main character syndrome (more on that in a bit). But social media alone won’t trigger this shift in how you see yourself and the world around you.
You might be more likely to develop main character syndrome if you’re anxious, insecure, or have low self-esteem. People with these traits may be uncomfortable just being themselves.
Main character syndrome and social media
It’s fair to say that social media has given everyone access to an audience if they want one. An abundance of platforms make it possible to feel like you’re always on stage or being observed. You can easily turn your life into a performance. And for some people, social media is a performance where you only show the good, the beautiful, and the fashionable.
But spending a lot of time on social media, or online in general, can skew your perception of reality. It might lead you to constantly compare yourself to others. It may not occur to you that these people are curating their lives, too. Feeling like you constantly come up short in those comparisons can push you to want to put on a better show.
You could increasingly start to see things for their social media potential. You might often try to make life’s real moments more “Instagrammable.” Or you may find yourself thinking about how to chronicle a current moment later for your viewers online.
That tendency to shape your life for online consumption can spill over into real life.
Main Character Syndrome Symptoms
Some signs of main character syndrome could be viewed more positively than others.
For example, the feeling of importance that comes from being the star of an epic story might give you a boost. You may feel more motivated and confident. For someone who’s anxious, insecure, or generally runs low on self-esteem, these could be good things.
Other symptoms of main character syndrome might be considered neutral or negative.
You may:
- Think you’re more important than you really are or overestimate how much your actions matter to other people
- Have a distorted view of reality
- Ignore or not see the consequences of your behavior
- Behave in certain ways just to get attention or act dramatically
- Act or dress in a way that’s not really “you”
You might also:
- Have the urge to “reinvent” yourself or “change your brand”
- Lack empathy
- Romanticize your problems, such as thinking you have to go through certain things to grow and develop
- Experience cognitive dissonance, where you feel the need to justify your actions to yourself because they don’t align with your values or your beliefs
Main Character Syndrome vs. Narcissism
Main character syndrome involves a certain level of self-centeredness. So it may sound a lot like narcissism. The two overlap, but they are not the same.
Both main characters and narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance. They are the center of attention.
Another trait that the two can have in common is lack of empathy. An inability to understand or care about other people’s feelings is a driving feature of narcissism. It can also be a part of main character syndrome because you may feel you or your problems are more important.
It’s believed that both narcissism and main character syndrome have ties to excessive social media use. Narcissists may be prone to social media dependency. As for main character syndrome and overuse of social media, either one may lead to the other.
Unlike main character syndrome, narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition. Someone who has this disorder has it all the time. It impacts their daily life and their personal and professional relationships. A main character, on the other hand, may up their main character energy in some situations and dial it down in others.
Managing Main Character Syndrome
If you’re the main character wherever you go, it can cause problems in your relationships and day-to-day life. But if you’re aware that you tend to see yourself as a main character, you may be able to get a handle on it and not let it take over your life.
Here’s some rules of thumb for keeping your main character energy at bay.
Know when to step out of the spotlight
Don’t let main character energy keep you from being a good friend. Sometimes, it’s someone else’s moment. Make sure you step aside when a friend has news to share or wants to open up about a problem. Don’t be the star at someone else’s birthday party, wedding, or celebration. In general, when you’re interacting with friends and loved ones, take a beat and ask yourself whether you’re spending too much time in the spotlight.
Check in with your true self
Take a look at some of your chosen behaviors. Do your actions reflect your true preferences, values, and beliefs? Or are you wearing a mask? Decide whether you want to continue with those behaviors.
Ask why you’re reinventing yourself
There can be good reasons to work hard to change something about yourself. Maybe you’ve decided you want to be a better listener. Or maybe you want to speak up more at work. That’s called working on yourself. It’s different from changing parts of yourself to impress others or send a false message about who you are. When the urge to reinvent yourself pops up, consider exactly what you want to change and why.
Take stock of your relationships
You may not realize it, but your main character energy could be hurting others. Friends, family, or significant others may feel like you don’t listen to them or sometimes steal their thunder.
Have an honest conversation with the people you care about. You might ask:
- Do you feel heard by me?
- Do you feel that I listen to you?
- Are there ways that I could be a better friend/partner/sibling?
- Are there situations in our relationship that you wish I would handle differently?
Their answers may be hard to hear. When they speak, focus on being quiet and listening, not on trying to defend yourself.
Choose a single thing
It’s difficult to be authentic when you’re trying to completely change who you are for public consumption. If you want to reinvent yourself for the better, focus on one small thing about yourself that you would like to change.
It could be a personality trait. Maybe you interrupt too often when people are talking. It could be a habit. Maybe you’d like to read more and stream less. But it can be something external, too. It’s OK to want to be more stylish, for example. But take it one step at a time. Ask yourself why you want to change it. Make a plan for how. And then focus on just that one thing.
Talk to a therapist
If you feel like your main character energy is taking over your life and you’ve lost control, a licensed mental health professional may be able to help. Ask your doctor, friends, or family if there’s someone they recommend. You can also search online for therapists near you.
Takeaways
Main character syndrome is the idea that, in every situation, you are the main character in the story of life and everyone else is secondary. It’s not an actual syndrome. It’s just an expression that was born on social media.
Main character syndrome has some overlap with narcissism, but they are not the same thing. Narcissistic personality disorder is a psychiatric condition.
You can take steps on your own to tamp down your main character energy. A licensed therapist can help you release some of that main character energy, too.
Main Character Syndrome FAQs
Is main character syndrome narcissism?
They have some overlap, like inflated sense of self-importance and lack of empathy, but they are not the same thing. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition. Main character syndrome is not.
What is main character personality disorder?
This is just another way to say main character syndrome. But it’s not an actual personality disorder.
What is the opposite of main character syndrome?
Side character energy – another term coined on social media – describes a person who’s usually funny, secure, and doesn’t strive to be the center of attention.
