What to Know About Cognitive Dissonance

Medically Reviewed by Jabeen Begum, MD on June 26, 2024
Written by Sonya Collins
9 min read

You’ve been a card-carrying member of the same political party your whole adult life. You never voted for anyone in another party. But in a recent local election, your party’s candidate pushed a policy that would have effects on your neighborhood that you really don’t want. Looking at your options, you considered not voting at all, but you never miss an election. You’re always talking about how important it is to vote – even in the small local contests. So you headed to polls, winced, and voted for the other candidate. 

As you drove home, you felt guilty and ashamed. You told yourself, “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a small local election.” Maybe you even told yourself that your vote probably wouldn’t affect the outcome that much anyway. You also swore you wouldn’t tell any of your friends or family how you voted. 

You just experienced cognitive dissonance. 

Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term that describes the discomfort you feel when your beliefs don’t line up with your actions. Or it could refer to the tension of holding two conflicting beliefs at once. “Cognitive” means relating to your thoughts. “Dissonance” describes a lack of harmony. Your thoughts – on the one hand, that you consider yourself a staunch supporter of a certain political party and, on the other hand, that you cannot support that party’s policy about your neighborhood – are not in harmony with each other. The discomfort this causes can push you to make a change, either in your behavior or your beliefs, that will make you feel more comfortable. 

You can have cognitive dissonance and not even know it. You could be in a state of cognitive dissonance any time you feel guilty about a choice you made or find yourself trying to justify an action that you just took.

Cognitive dissonance theory

The theory of cognitive dissonance was first described in the 1957 book A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance by the psychologist Leon Festinger. He based the theory on his observations of members of a cult. They believed that the world was going to be destroyed by a flood. Some gave up their homes and their jobs because of this belief. Festinger’s theory explained the conflict in the cult members’ minds when the flood didn’t happen and how they shifted their beliefs in order to explain the false prediction of a worldwide flood. 

To help give you the idea, here are more examples of situations in which you might feel cognitive dissonance. 

Local shop

You’ve been a longtime customer of your neighborhood bakery. You think it’s by far the best bakery in town, and you also love to support local, independent businesses over big chains. But you recently learned that the owner doesn’t treat his workers very well. You consider continuing to buy from the shop since the pastries are so good and the shop is independent, but that makes you feel guilty. Then you consider switching to a nearby chain, but that makes you feel guilty, too. 

Tasteless joke

You’ve had the same best friend since the first grade. You two have known each other almost your entire lives. You love this person and would do anything for them. But recently they told a joke that you found very offensive. Everyone else laughed and, hey, it’s your best friend, so you laughed, too. But you felt sick about it for the rest of the day. Or perhaps you made excuses for your friend or for yourself. 

Looming deadline

You’ve got a tight deadline to write a report at work, and you’re worried you won’t be able to meet it. In order to hit it, you take some shortcuts you wouldn’t normally take. You get the job wrapped up on time, but it’s not the quality of work you pride yourself on and you’re embarrassed about it. You have trouble sleeping that night.

Many situations might push you into a state of conflict between two beliefs or between your beliefs and your actions. Some of the more common causes of cognitive dissonance include:

Getting new information. When you receive new information that challenges your beliefs – like learning that the owner of the local bakery isn’t a good employer – you can feel cognitive dissonance. 

Social pressures. Peer pressure often refers to children and teenagers, but adults can behave in a way that goes against their values because of social pressure, too. Laughing at an offensive joke because your friend told it or because others are laughing is an example of that. 

Forced compliance. Being made to do something in public that you don’t agree with can cause cognitive dissonance. For example, you might be told to give a public apology or walk back something you previously said.

Making a hard decision. Making any difficult decision can lead to cognitive dissonance. Think of the types of decisions that cause you to make a list of pros and cons. After you’ve made the decision, you may dwell on it or second-guess yourself. You go back and focus on all the cons of your choice and all the ways this decision doesn’t agree with what you want. 

When the effort isn’t worth the results. When you go to great lengths to achieve something – for example, waiting in line all night for concert tickets – but the experience doesn’t meet your expectations, you can feel regret about wasting your time, money, or energy. You may tell yourself that the concert was better than it was or that it was worth the wait for some other reason so you can feel better about the effort you put in. 

Cognitive dissonance is only a theory. Not everyone feels the discomfort described in some of the examples of cognitive dissonance included here. Some people might be OK with a temporary conflict between their beliefs and their actions. Highly anxious people are the most likely to feel discomfort, guilt, shame, stress, or anxiety in these situations. Many people are able to deal with these moments and not feel much tension. 

If you do have cognitive dissonance, you might:

  • Feel anxiety or stress 
  • Feel guilt, shame, or regret
  • Justify to yourself or to others why you did something
  • Dismiss or downplay the results of your actions to yourself or others
  • Feel physical tension in your body, such as tightness in your neck, back, or shoulders
  • Feel tension or conflict in your relationships if the situation involved another person

While cognitive dissonance can cause all of these uncomfortable feelings, those feelings can sometimes lead to positive change. For example, let’s say you believed a negative stereotype about people who belong to a specific racial, ethnic, or religious group. Then you met someone from this group – maybe it was a new co-worker – and you really liked this person. You feel uncomfortable with these conflicting ideas at first, but you eventually come to realize that the stereotype you believed must have been wrong. People from this group are kind and likable, just like anyone else. 

Moments of cognitive dissonance could push you to stop smoking, eat healthier food, speak out about what you believe in, or stand up for someone. 

When someone else’s behavior – for example, that of a partner, co-worker, neighbor, or member of your place of worship – causes cognitive dissonance for you, it can put stress on both you and the relationship. Sometimes the stress can lead to positive change. Other times, it may keep you in a bad situation. 

Those can include:

Cognitive dissonance in an abusive relationship. You love your partner and believe them to be a good person who cares about you. When they are physically or verbally abusive, you may justify their behavior to stay in the relationship. Or you may eventually change your beliefs about your partner and get out of the relationship. 

Cognitive dissonance on dating apps. You have a checklist of qualities that a potential partner must have. You go on a date with someone who’s smart, attractive, successful, shares many of your values, and whom you really enjoy. But they don’t tick anywhere close to all the boxes you’ve laid out for a possible mate. You feel the tension between who you believe your future partner must be and how much you enjoy spending time with this person. To reduce the dissonance, you may lower the value that you put on all those boxes you hoped this person would tick. Or, you might decide not to see the person anymore. 

Cognitive dissonance in your friendships. Think back to the example of the buddy who told the tasteless joke. This same scenario could be about a buddy who has starkly different political beliefs or maybe is unkind to their spouse or too stern with their children. If the situation bothers you enough, you may justify it to yourself, change your personal beliefs, or maybe change your beliefs about the person and end the relationship. 

Cognitive dissonance theory assumes that, by default, you want to live in a state of cognitive consonance. That is, you want your beliefs and your actions to be in harmony with each other so that you can be at peace with yourself. To make that happen, the theory suggests, moments of cognitive dissonance may push you to do one of the following in order to get back to a place of inner harmony:

Change your beliefs. Think back to your political party’s candidate who supported a neighborhood policy that you don’t like. To get rid of that icky feeling you have about voting for the other candidate, you may look into that other candidate’s party and decide that you want to support that group instead. Or, maybe, in order to avoid voting for the other candidate in the first place, you research the bad neighborhood policy so that you can better understand it and get behind both the policy and your party’s candidate. 

Reduce the importance of your beliefs. In the dating app example, it would be unlikely for you to find many dates if all the candidates must first check off a list of must-haves that’s four pages long. You might have to prioritize just a few traits and take the weight off some of the others if you want to meet someone. 

Add new beliefs or information. In some instances of cognitive dissonance, you may add new information or beliefs that help bridge the gap between the conflicting information and actions. Maybe you drive a big car that uses a lot of gas, but you also want to live a life that supports the environment. You may research and find out that some other practices in your life – like never using a drinking straw and always bringing a reusable cup to the coffee shop – counteract the negative effects of owning a big car. 

Change your behavior. Sometimes cognitive dissonance can cause such stress or anxiety that you have to change your behavior. Sometimes that’s a good thing. You might get out of a toxic relationship, vote your conscience, or stand up for yourself or someone else. 

  • Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort you may feel when your actions are not in line with your beliefs or values. 
  • Cognitive dissonance theory assumes that the disconnect between your values and your actions will cause discomfort and you may take action to get comfortable again. 
  • Cognitive dissonance can feel like stress, guilt, tension, shame, anxiety, or regret.
  • You can feel cognitive dissonance in response to your own actions or the actions of people you spend time with. 

What is cognitive dissonance?

It’s the conflict between two different realities; for example, your beliefs or values and your actions or behaviors. 

What is an example of cognitive dissonance? 

You think you value the environment, but you never remember to bring reusable bags to the supermarket and feel ashamed every time you walk away with arms loaded down with disposable plastic bags. 

How can you tell if you have cognitive dissonance? 

You may feel stress, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment, or regret about your behavior. 

Why do people have cognitive dissonance? 

Because they feel uncomfortable with a behavior that doesn’t reflect what they believe in or stand for. Cognitive dissonance theory suggests that people naturally want to live in a state of cognitive harmony – when beliefs and actions are in line. If they don’t line up, it can make people feel uneasy.

What is the opposite of cognitive dissonance? 

Cognitive consonance – when your actions or behaviors agree with your values or beliefs.