Like many children her age, Lillie McDaniel, 5, likes to spend time watching videos and playing games on her tablet. She started around age 3. Lillie’s parents were familiar with the issues around excess screen time for kids, but the tradeoff seemed reasonable on occasions – such as long trips – when a little tablet time made Lillie’s and their lives so much easier.
Later, Lillie’s father, Blake McDaniel, 39, of Atlanta noticed that when it was time to turn off the tablet, she’d get frustrated. At first, it didn’t seem like anything serious.
“As she used it more and more, the frustration lasted longer,” he says. “That started to happen more when she switched from [age-appropriate shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood] to playing games.”
The length of uninterrupted use seemed to make a difference. McDaniel noticed “irritability for prolonged periods afterward” – bargaining for one more show, grumpiness getting ready for bed, the occasional tantrum.
That’s not surprising, says Caroline Fitzpatrick, PhD, a professor of education at Université de Sherbrooke in Quebec, Canada, and lead author of a new study on preschoolers and tablet use.
Why It Can Be a Concern
The research shows that kids who used tablets at age 3½ tended to express more anger and frustration by 4½ than a year prior. In turn, kids who showed more anger and frustration at age 4½ used tablets for longer periods at 5½.
“What we might be seeing is the emergence of a vicious cycle where tablet use could undermine emotional regulation, which can lead to more tablet use,” says Fitzpatrick.
Ages 3-5 are prime years in which children learn to navigate their emotions, a skill they need to harness as they enter kindergarten and learn to get along with peers and teachers and regulate frustration in challenging learning situations, she says.
“What we should be observing is a steady decrease [in anger and frustration] in that span of time, but that’s not what we are seeing.”
The new research dovetails with existing literature on the impacts of technology, says Christine Snyder, MA, the director of child and family care at the University of Michigan and a doctoral student at Eastern Michigan University.
Many parents use tablets to manage emotional outbursts, and more challenging children tend to receive more screen time.
One study showed using mobile devices to calm kids seemed to hamper their ability to complete tasks (executive function). Another showed that using tech to manage negative emotions in kids seemed to hamper their ability to think before acting.
Quality Over Quantity
New guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics stress the importance of gatekeeping the quality of digital content, rather than just the quantity. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, for instance, helps kids regulate emotions, while Sesame Street assists language development, according to studies. Experts also say programs that ask a child to read, sing, dance, rhyme, or repeat words can have positive effects. Common Sense Media features many age-appropriate options, Snyder says.
Unfortunately, this does not make up most of the digital and online content marketed to preschoolers. Even programs marketed as educational may not help with development.
“Technology develops faster than quality research can be conducted and published,” says Snyder, who has studied screen use for more than a decade. “Parents are doing what they think is best, but marketers are trying to make money, not support brain development.”
“Marketing is winning over the research. Marketing is a lot faster than research.”
Many developers of children’s games and programs use the same techniques found on gambling sites, which can boost their need for instant gratification and damage attention spans, research shows. Where old-school toys like building blocks ignite imagination, many video games teach only winning vs. losing, and the child’s focus is limited to scoring or advancing to the next level.
“When you make mistakes in hands-on play, you learn what your mistake was, or if you’re successful, you know how to replicate it,” says Snyder, who has written six books on early childhood education.
Age is important to consider when choosing what’s appropriate. Snyder’s children don’t have phones or tablets, she says, but her 11-year-old has a “secret” video game system he’s allowed to play only when his 5-year-old sibling isn’t around.
Parents, Look at Yourselves
Kids aren’t the only issue, though, she says. Parents’ screen time can have negative effects, too. Engaging with technology is often a “closed” experience, she says, so children don’t witness emotional responses or dialogue when their parent’s nose is in a screen.
But, Snyder says, there are ways to integrate technology into family life in healthier ways. To start with, try not to use digital devices as pacifiers. Parents can also establish periods without screens, or offer to play games or watch programs with their children.
It’s important for parents to be mindful of their own habits, as well as knowing that once they grant permission for, say, a TV in the bedroom, taking it away is going to create conflict.
“It’s easier to create healthy habits than undo unhealthy habits,” Snyder says. “Don’t start something you don’t want to fight about later.”
Back at Home
Today, McDaniel and his wife still enforce firm rules for Lillie and her 2-year-old sister, Violet, such as setting time limits and mandating breaks. They also mix in other stimuli – books and board games and the like – but there are times when Lillie is allowed to use her tablet for up to an hour or two. Recent plane trips to France and India are good examples. Overall, says McDaniel, it seems to have worked. Though she still likes her tablet, Lillie is interested in a wider variety of media.
She likes Marvel cartoons and LEGO Batman, but Violet enjoys Daniel Tiger. She was introduced to electronics earlier than her sister – because she saw her parents working and Lillie playing on screens – but Lillie taught her parents helpful tricks, like giving 5 to 15 minutes’ notice before it’s time to shut devices down.
Whether the media is digital or not, the McDaniels strive to engage with their kids about the content. They might discuss the theme of a Daniel Tiger episode or talk about strategies for board and card games they enjoy, like Sleeping Queens, UNO, or Ghost Fightin’ Treasure Hunters. For Lillie, McDaniel says, playing board games with her parents seems to have a similar calming effect as technology.
“Part of what stimulates her is doing something new and being good at it,” he says, adding with a tinge of pride in his voice: “She’s gotten really interested in chess.”
That’s a great idea, says Snyder. Studies show engaging with children and their tech is more educational than letting them watch or play alone. Snyder suggests that with older kids, “One of the other things we can do is narrate what we are doing on our devices.”
Engaging your child in what you’re doing can foster more connection, rather than “an exit from our existence together,” Snyder says. It might be as simple as saying, “We’re going to a baseball game. Let’s look at the weather.” It works for all ages.
“I do it with my husband, too,” she says. “ ‘Reading anything interesting?’ ”
