What Is a Hands-Free Orgasm?
A hands-free orgasm is when you have a sexual climax without using hands. As long as you aren't using your hands to stimulate your body, it is considered hands-free. You can achieve this type of orgasm solo or with a partner.
According to certified sex and dating coach Myisha Battle, MS, in MindBodyGreen, approaching hands-free orgasms with a sense of curiosity can help you to tap into any pleasure sensations you might feel in your body.
Hands-free orgasm vs. touch-free orgasm
During a hands-free orgasm, you can still stimulate your genitals using other methods. By comparison, touch-free orgasms involve no physical stimulation at all, relying instead on the connection between the brain and the body to achieve an orgasm. This might involve breathing exercises or focusing on erotic thoughts.
Is there a difference between male hands-free orgasm and female hands-free orgasm?
There might be differences between the techniques preferred by people with penises and people with vaginas to achieve hands-free orgasm, but the general idea is the same: having an orgasm without using your hands to stimulate your genitals.
How to Have a Hands-Free Orgasm
There are many ways to achieve a hands-free orgasm. Both people with a vagina or penis can experience one.
Here are some methods to try:
Humping and grinding
Humping and grinding can create pleasurable friction and stimulate the genitals for both people with a penis or a vulva. You can try rubbing against blankets, pillows, or a couch cushion in any position that feels good. You can also try grinding on a vibrator or other sex toy.
Erotic talk
Sexual arousal starts in the brain, so describing fantasies or sharing details about what you want to do with your partner can make you feel turned on. For some people, the mental and emotional excitement from erotic talk can be enough to have an orgasm, even without physical contact.
Orgasmic breathing
Orgasmic breathing involves targeting your breath to different parts of your body while squeezing your pelvic muscles. Breathing intentionally and specifically can help some people experience sexual pleasure. You can do it by lying on your back in a quiet, comfortable place, either alone or with a partner. Orgasmic breathing takes practice, but it can also help your hands-on orgasms last longer.
Tantric sex
Tantric sex comes from the Hindu and Buddhist philosophy of tantra, which focuses on deepening the intimate and spiritual connection between partners. It uses a combination of techniques, including controlled breathing, eye contact, and massage to create physical and emotional closeness. The goal of tantra isn’t just sexual pleasure, though that can be a benefit for some people.
Sex toys
Sex toys can help you achieve a hands-free orgasm by stimulating your genitals. If you have a vulva, you can try a vibrator that fits in your underwear. Some of these vibrators come with remote controls, making them fun to use with a partner. If you have a penis, consider using a cock ring, which is a vibrating sex toy worn around the base of the penis. Dildos with suction cups can also help you achieve a hands-free orgasm, since they can be secured to different surfaces.
Water play
This can be pleasurable for people with vulvas. If you have a shower head that detaches, you can stimulate your clitoris by directing the water toward it.
Kegels and muscle clenching techniques
This technique works for people with vulvas and penises. To do a Kegel, tighten and then release the muscles in your pelvic floor. Repeating this exercise can stimulate your prostate or clitoris. Research has also shown that muscle clenching techniques can also improve orgasms.
Hands-free orgasm hypnosis
During erotic hypnosis, a professional or partner guides you into a trance-like state. It involves using relaxation techniques, fantasies, and suggestive language to make you more mentally and physically responsive. In this state, you might feel intensified sensations and increased arousal.
Hands-Free Orgasm Myths
Myth: You cannot have a "mindgasm." Some researchers refer to the brain as the most powerful sex organ. While it’s not common, both men and women can have a mental orgasm. This usually happens through erotic imagery and fantasies.
Myth: You don’t need to masturbate if you’re in a relationship. Masturbation is a healthy part of most people’s sex lives, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not. Some people masturbate as a way to relieve stress, improve their sleep, or as a way to figure out what they like sexually.
Myth: Men can only have an orgasm by penile stimulation. This is the most common way for people with penises to orgasm, but it’s not the only way. Massaging the prostate can produce powerful orgasms. The male brain also plays a big role in both ejaculation and orgasm, so it’s possible for males to have an orgasm through mental stimulation, too.
Myth: Hands-free stimulation should always result in an orgasm. An orgasm shouldn’t be the main goal of sex. Instead, focus on what feels good to better enjoy the entire sexual experience.
How to Try a Hands-Free Orgasm Safely
Hands-free orgasm techniques offer a new way to explore sex. Some people might be able to achieve a hands-free orgasm on the first try, while others may need practice to find out what works best for them. You might also try it and decide it’s not for you. Since the main goal is to pleasure yourself or your partner, there’s no right or wrong way to experiment – just be patient and focus on what feels good, regardless of whether you have an orgasm.
Before you get started, make sure you’re aroused. Try to relax and focus on the sensations in your body. Hands-free orgasms might feel like an adjustment at first, so knowing how you typically orgasm can help you figure out which techniques work best. If you’re trying a hands-free orgasm with a partner, make sure to communicate what you like, what you don’t, and if you want to stop at any point. You can also experiment with trying a solo hands-free orgasm together.
If you’re using sex toys, remember to clean them properly between each use to prevent the spread of bacteria and sexually transmitted infections. Choose toys made from body-safe materials, like silicone, glass, and stainless steel.
Takeaways
Hands-free orgasms can be a unique way to enhance your sex life. Because everyone’s body works differently, you might need to experiment a bit to find out which techniques work best for you. Be patient, stay open-minded, and try to focus on pleasure without worrying too much about achieving an orgasm.
