What Is Oral Sex?
Oral sex is a common sex act among couples of all ages and genders. It involves using your tongue, lips, or mouth to stimulate your partner’s genitals or anus.
Many couples use oral sex as a way to warm up or to get in the mood for intercourse, but oral stimulation can happen during or after, too. It can also be just as pleasurable as a standalone act. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to oral sex, so it’s important to talk to your partner about what feels good, what doesn’t, and any boundaries either of you might have. This helps make sure everyone has a positive experience.
Types of Oral Sex
Oral sex can have many different names, both formal and informal. Experts have given the various types of oral stimulation their own medical terms:
Fellatio. Stimulation of the penis with the lips, tongue, or teeth. It usually involves a sucking or licking motion, but may also include the use of the throat or teeth.
Cunnilingus. Stimulation of the vagina or clitoris with the mouth. This usually includes sucking or licking outside and around the vulva.
Anilingus. Stimulation of the anus with the mouth or lips.
Although these are the clinical terms, there are also more casual terms to describe oral sex, which include:
- Going down
- Giving head
- Rimming
- 69
- Blow job
How Does Oral Sex Work?
Oral sex requires a partner and whichever position works most comfortably. One partner uses their mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate their partner’s penis, vagina, or anus. Oral sex gives you and your partner another way to pleasure each other apart from regular genital intercourse.
People in both same-sex or mixed-sex relationships can enjoy giving or receiving oral stimulation with their partner.
Oral Sex Positions
There are different ways to give and receive oral sex. What feels good will vary from person to person. Here are some positions that you can try:
Lying on your back
One partner lies on their back while the other lies on their stomach with their head positioned between the receiver’s legs. If you’re the giver, you can use your mouth to stimulate your partner’s genitals. This position can be performed on people with penises or people with vaginas. Some people prefer placing their legs around a partner's head to allow more access to the genital area. For example, you may find it easier to access your partner's clitoris or testicles from this position.
On all fours
For this position, one partner balances themselves on their hands and knees. They can choose to spread their legs or keep them close together. If you’re the giver, you can move behind them and start to use your mouth on their genital area. This position is easiest to perform on people with vaginas, but you can also stimulate the testicles this way.
If kneeling is hard for you or your partner, you can modify this position by having one person lay on their side with their knees up while the other stimulates their genitals from behind.
Face-sitting
One partner lies on their back while the other kneels over their face. The person who will be the receiver faces forward, toward their partner’s head, with their knees on each side of their head. Some people prefer resting their arms on a headboard or other nearby support. This position puts more control on the person who is receiving oral sex.
You can perform an alternative version of this position by sitting on your partner while facing their lower body, instead. Some people prefer balancing themselves by resting their hands on the bed or their partner’s chest or hips. This position works on both people with penises and people with vaginas.
69
Have one partner lie on their back while the other positions themselves on top. Each partner should have their face near the other’s genitals. Then both of you can use your lips, mouth, and tongue to stimulate that area at the same time.
An alternative to having one person lying on their back is for both of you to lie on your sides facing opposite directions. This also allows you to give and receive oral sex at the same time.
Standing o
One partner stands upright while the other kneels in front of their genitals. If you’re the receiver, you can guide your partner’s head with your hands. You can try this position in whatever stance feels most comfortable, or with one leg draped over your partner’s shoulder.
Upside down head
The person giving oral sex lies on their back with their head hanging off the bed. The other partner can stand in front so they can lower their genitals towards the giver’s mouth. This position is easiest to perform on someone with a penis, but anyone can try it.
Kneeling on the edge
If you’re the receiver, lie on your back and move your buttocks to the edge of the bed, couch, or other support. Have your partner kneel between your legs so they can easily access your genitals with their mouth. You might find it more comfortable to place your feet on your partner’s shoulders or let them hang over. The person giving oral sex can also use a cushion to support their knees.
If kneeling isn’t possible, the giver can also be seated at the edge of the bed or sofa.
Oral Sex Myths
Oral sex is common: More than eighty-five percent of sexually active adults between the ages of 18 and 44 report having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. But there are still some misconceptions around it:
Myth: Oral sex is not sex. Studies of teenagers and college students in the past decades show that many don’t consider oral sex to be real sex. Instead, they see it as a pleasurable activity that is lower-risk and allows them to preserve their virginity. Reports also show that many teens and young adults try oral sex before they engage in genital intercourse.
However, while oral pleasure is distinctly different from sexual intercourse, it is still considered a sexual act. Oral sex involves genital contact and is an intimate act. It can be just as pleasurable as sexual intercourse, and also has some of the same risks involved, too.
Myth: Eating specific foods changes the taste of your body fluids. It’s true that some groups of foods can change how acidic your body fluids are, which might make them smell stronger. But there are no published studies proving that one food in particular can make them taste better or worse. Most of the information around this topic comes from anecdotal descriptions.
Myth: You cannot get STDs from oral sex. Many STDs and infections can be spread through oral sex.
The chances of getting an STD depend on the type of disease and what sexual activities are involved, but using condoms or dental dams during oral sex can help prevent them.
Myth: Everybody loves giving and receiving oral sex. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex. Some people like oral sex, while others might not enjoy it or feel uncomfortable with it for various reasons. It's important to respect people’s desires and boundaries when it comes to all types of sexual activities.
How to Try Oral Sex Safely
Oral sex can be given or received by people of all genders and sexualities. It’s important to ensure that both partners are consenting.
Communicate openly
The first step is to communicate your desires and boundaries around oral sex with your partner. One study shows that heterosexual women may be more hesitant to ask their male partner for oral sex. However, the same study showed that men wanted to perform oral sex more often with their partners.
Oral stimulation can be an intimate act, so it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about how you can pleasure each other. Try starting slowly by kissing and touching the genital area. Then you can gradually move on to using your mouth on your partner in a way that they like.
Use protection
Using protection lowers your chances of getting an STD during oral sex. If you’re having oral sex with someone who has a penis, cover the penis with a nonlubricated condom before you start. For oral sex on the vagina or anus, use a dental dam as a barrier between your mouth and a person’s genitals. If you don’t have any dental dams on hand, you can make one by cutting off the tip and base of a condom, and then cutting it down the side so that it becomes a flat square sheet.
Clean up before and after oral sex
If you’re worried about hygiene, washing your genitals with mild soap and water before you have oral sex might make you feel more comfortable — especially when it comes to anal oral sex. It’s also a good idea to shower afterward, as this can help stop the spread of bacteria that may cause an infection.
STDs spread more easily if you have cuts or sores in or around your mouth. So, try not to brush or floss your teeth before having oral sex, as it can cause tiny cuts that make your gums bleed.
Regular screening
Along with using protection, getting tested regularly is the best way to protect yourself from STDs, especially when you have sex with a new person. Knowing your STD status can make both you and your partner feel more comfortable during oral sex.
Possible Risks of Oral Sex
Oral sex and STDs
While it’s true the chances of getting an STD through oral sex are a bit lower than with genital sex, the risk is still there. Some common STDs that can be passed orally are:
Herpes. Herpes can spread through contact between an infected area and a cut or break in the skin around your mouth or genitals. You can also pass it on even if you don't have any symptoms. If you or your partner has herpes symptoms, it's best to avoid oral sex and kissing until they’re gone.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia. Both of these STDs are bacterial infections that can spread through semen, blood, or vaginal discharge. The infection can enter your body when your genitals, lips, mouth, or throat come in contact with infected fluids.
HIV. The chances of getting HIV from unprotected oral sex are very low, but it can still happen. As with other sexually transmitted infections, you can get HIV through oral sex if the virus enters your body through a sore or a cut.
Syphilis. Syphilis is most contagious when there’s a visible sore or rash on the genitals, anus, lips, or in the rectum or mouth. You can get syphilis if you come into direct contact with these sores.
Human papillomavirus (HPV). It spreads through skin-to-skin contact and often has no symptoms, so it’s easy to pass it on without knowing. It’s common and most cases are harmless, but you can still lower your chances of getting it by using protection.
Genital infections
During oral sex, your mouth can introduce bacteria to the urethra and vagina, which can lead to problems like urinary tract infections or bacterial vaginosis. Both infections can usually be treated by your doctor with antibiotics. If one partner has a yeast infection, it’s possible to pass it on through oral sex. The same candida fungus that causes infections in the vagina can also grow inside of your mouth.
Intestinal infections
You can get a bowel infection if you get infected poop in your mouth during anal oral sex. When bacteria from the bowel end up in your digestive tract, it can cause stomach pain and diarrhea. It’s also possible to pass on intestinal parasites during anal oral sex.
Cold sores
Cold sores are caused by a strain of the herpes simplex virus called HSV-1. Even though this virus is different from the one that causes genital herpes, if someone has a cold sore, they can still spread it to the genitals through kissing or skin contact.
Hepatitis A and B
Hepatitis A, an infection that affects the liver, spreads through contact with infected poop. You can get it during oral sex if you touch or lick your partner's anus, or if you don’t wash your hands after touching the anus.
While hepatitis B spreads through sex, it’s unlikely that you’ll get it from oral sex unless you come into contact with blood.
Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
You can’t get pregnant from oral sex alone. Pregnancy happens when sperm fertilizes an egg, and the only way to access those eggs is through the vagina.
Oral Sex and Cancer
Oral sex doesn't directly cause cancer, but it can raise your odds of getting HPV, which may lead to cancer. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the U.S. The types of HPV doctors find in your mouth are usually sexually transmitted, which means they're likely caused by oral sex.
While most strains of HPV are harmless, some can cause cancer, including cancer of the throat and oropharynx (back of the throat, including the tonsils and base of the tongue). These types of cancers are increasing, but fewer than 1% of people who get HPV will form a related cancer.
Health experts suggest using condoms and dental dams to lower your chances of getting HPV and cancer. The HPV vaccine can also protect against these conditions.
Risk Factors for Getting an Infection Through Oral Sex
You might be more likely to get an infection during oral sex if you have:
- A weakened immune system
- Poor oral health, including tooth decay, gum disease, bleeding gums, or oral cancer
- Mouth or genital sores
- Multiple partners, or partners who haven’t been tested for STDs
- A history of STDs
Oral Sex and Consent
Like with any sexual activity, oral sex requires ongoing consent to make sure both partners feel comfortable doing it. It’s important that the experience is enjoyable for both you and your partner, so make sure to communicate when something feels good and when it doesn’t. You should never give or receive oral sex if you feel pressured into it. Someone who is unable to act because of drugs or alcohol cannot consent to oral sex.
Takeaways
Anyone can enjoy oral sex, regardless of their age, gender, or sexuality. The safety and pleasure of both partners should always come first. Make sure to use protection and maintain good hygiene to lower your chances of getting an STD. And communicate to make sure everyone is enjoying the experience.
Oral Sex FAQs
Can you get HIV from oral sex?
It’s very difficult to get HIV from oral sex. You can still get it if you come into contact with blood or an open wound, but the risk is quite low.
Can oral sex cause throat cancer?
Oral sex can spread HPV, which is one of the biggest causes of throat cancer. While having multiple oral sex partners does increase your chances of developing HPV-related throat cancer, these cancers are still rare by comparison to other types.
Does oral sex cause bacterial infection?
During oral sex, bacteria can spread from the mouth to the vagina or urethra, which can cause a urinary tract infection or bacterial vaginosis. Some bacterial STDs, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, can also be passed on through oral sex.
