A common thread I’ve noticed in conversations with others facing chronic health conditions is the heavy feeling of shame. Shame for having to live with the condition, shame for asking for help like a burden, and shame for feeling like they're inconveniencing others. It shouldn’t be this way, but too often, people feel too ashamed to ask for help, choosing instead to suffer in silence to avoid that uncomfortable weight of guilt. But the truth is, I never asked for eczema, and neither did anyone else. So why should I feel ashamed for needing support when it flares up? I shouldn’t, and you shouldn’t either. To overcome the feeling of shame, I made a plan for the steps I take when I need help.
Normalize Asking for Help
There’s a famous quote, “Ask and you shall receive,” that I love and try to live by. After going through the emotional ups and downs (yes, it's real) of managing eczema, I finally reached a point when I realized asking for help isn’t a weakness. The shame I used to feel started to fade. With new research, insights from others in the eczema community, and the wisdom that comes with age, I now ask myself, “Why did I wait so long to reach out?” As silly as it sounds, it’s such a relief to know I’m not alone. People with eczema are continuously learning and guiding each other. These days, asking for help is more accepted and even encouraged, but it still takes a village – and our village just happens to be one of the best.
Be Specific and Clarify the Type of Help You Need
Before I ask for help, I make sure to do my research and get clear about what I’m dealing with. I usually create a list of my current symptoms and figure out which areas I need support in. Sometimes, it’s mental – when I’m not feeling like myself, a therapist can be a huge help. Eczema affects us mentally in ways we never expected. My therapist once told me I was still holding on to the younger version of myself who had severe eczema, even though my skin had cleared up years ago. That insight was exactly what I needed to start moving forward.
Another area where I’ve learned to be specific is with my dermatologist. Before my appointments, I write down every symptom, how long the flare-up has lasted, and anything new I’ve tried recently. I’m always upfront about my boundaries, too – like how I’ve stopped using topical steroids, so I’m not open to that treatment anymore. It’s so important to clearly express what you need and where your limits are. And if a dermatologist or health care professional brushes you off, it’s OK to find someone who will really listen and address your symptoms in a way that works for you.
Research, Research, Research
We live in a digital world where it feels like we’re constantly bombarded with false promises. I’ve lost count of how many TikTok videos I’ve seen where someone claims they “cured” their eczema with a cream they made or by changing their diet. While that might work for some, eczema is so individual; it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation. A product that works wonders for one person might not do anything for someone else. I believe most people have good intentions, but things can get muddled when profit and being “the first” to solve the problem come into play. That’s why I always make sure to find credible sources and talk to people in the eczema community about products they’ve tried. It’s key to make sure that whoever is offering advice really understands the complexity of eczema and how to manage it.
Think of Seeking Help as a Partnership Rather Than a Charity Case
I see seeking help from others as more of a partnership than asking for charity. While I’m patient with the process, I know that anything that helps me now will ultimately benefit others if I share my experience. Whether it’s a doctor, therapist, or any other professional, I make it clear that the help they provide me now will have a ripple effect. I’ll pay it forward through my advocacy work, and together we’ll make a real impact on others dealing with eczema.
Speaking from experience, asking for help when dealing with eczema is one of the most empowering things you can do. Doors have been kicked open, doctors understand me better, I’ve received proper treatment to manage my skin, and most rewarding is having a solid community to remind me that I’m not alone. If there’s one takeaway I want you to get from this, it’s that seeking help is a sign of strength, self-care, and, like myself, can lead to breakthroughs. Stop suffering alone.
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